THE PANDEMIC TIMES.

S.P. proudly presents its newest section: The Pandemic Times, your journal during the pandemic times.

REPORTER: We are here in Concratemade Street to interview the population to make them questions exclusively about Coronavirus and the pandemic times we're living these days. We need to know popular opinions, so let's see the results:

QUESTION: Excuse me, madamn. What do you think about being alive in pandemic times? 

LADY: Oh! It's wonderful to be alive today, I love to wear this shitty mask that pricks my nose every moment.

OLD GENTLEMAN: Are we living in a pandemy?

TEENAGER TEXTING ON THE PHONE: Are we still alive?

HOMELESS: I knew it! I knew it! It is the aliens! Aliens are attacking us! Aliens!

QUESTION: If you were a peanut butter, what would you do?

LADY: I would be creamy. More than I am actually.

OLD GENTLEMAN: I would be more happy because my family don't come to visit me no more, it didn't make any sense with your question I just wanted to vent it with someone :(

TEENAGER TEXTING ON THE PHONE: What the heck this question is about? Aren't we supposed to talk about the virus?

HOMELESS: Aliens!

QUESTION: To finish it all, what kind of music are you into?

LADY: I like R&B music, but I like Rock music too.

OLD GENTLEMAN: Oh the good ol' times! I like a lot of Bee Gees, Chic, Pet Shop Boys and the other heavy metal bands.

TEENAGER TEXTING ON THE PHONE: That's ridiculous. 

HOMELESS: Aliens! Aliens! Aliens! Adrian! Adrian!

And this was the first and last edition of The Pandemic Times, your safe and only source of infomation during Coronavirus big party!

how to be E-BOY, the newest trend on internet.

Warning! This is just a parody, ok? It wasn't my intention to offend anybody. Just read it and have fun. Yeah, I need to explain it nowadays.

E-Boys are the hottest trend on internet right now. They use black clothes, they are not dogs but they use chains around their neck or waist, they are... cute? Nah! They just act like they're seducing someone over a camera on social media (it barely ever works) like TikTok or whatever other shit. They think the world is against them and love crying. Now you know eveything about the style, let's learn how to be one of them, for free!

First of all, take off your outdated cheesy simple-colored t-shirt. Being an E-Boy means being a fashion boy, an internet boy, a connected boy, a modern boy. So, put an old rock n' roll band t-shirt over a long sleeved shirt and you'll be okay and trendy!

For your pants, you need a black, simple and comfortabe Nike or Adidas baggy pants that you can find on whatever generic store close to you OR a generic ripped off jeans you can find in literally every clothes shop. For shoes, you have to use a modern generic tennis. That's it.

Second of all, you need to get a treat on your hair. Nobody likes a combed simple hairstyle, you need to screw all your hair over, take bleach or some generic ink and paint it. If you don't want colored hair, it's okay, just do follow these three simple steps:

- Sleep.

- Wake up.

- Go to your destiny.

That's it. And then you'll have a trendy, cool and atractive, scruffy, messy hair! It's so simple to be on trend!

Now, you need the accesories. The accesories can be by your own personality, you can get a dog chain on sale with a cool price, you can get some black nail polish to paint your wonderful nails and, the most important at all, you can get a depression by killing someone or something from your family :-) (WARNING! FUCK DON'T DO THIS!!!!).

If you followed all those steps (not the last one), you'll become a cool and popular E-Boy, all the girls are going to fall in love of how emotional and deep you are, and all the boys are going to say how fag you look. Great deal! Thank me later.